We didn’t make it through the last few years, and the pandemic, unscathed. There were more trips to the hospital for mental health support, including an extended stay for Jasmine just as the pandemic was hitting. MacKenzie has survived and learned from some pretty toxic relationships and is really focusing on herself now. Both girls are focused on living with Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, anxiety, and depression and the rollercoaster it can be. Vader has adjusted well to having two homes, one with me and one with Tony, Tony’s girlfriend and her son. It was really hard on him for a long time, but now it’s just the new normal and it’s working. I credit a lot of that to the friendship that Tony and I have. We may not have been a good couple, but we are great co-parents and, more importantly, friends.
I silently struggled with my own depression and anxiety for years, almost taking my life a few months after losing Grandma in November of 2020. Thankfully, I am still here. I am on medication, in therapy, and thriving. A few of my sisters and I started a podcast (anchor.fm/sister-trip) to address our past, it's impact on our present, and what we hope for the future. I am also in a loving, supportive relationship with a man I adore. Life is by no means perfect, but it sure is pretty damn good right now.
Each New Year's Eve, rather than coming up with a resolution or several resolutions, I prefer to focus on a single word. Last year my word was growth. I was looking to grow as a person, a mother, a communications leader, and a public relations professional. I believe I accomplished all of those things. I had family, friends, and a boyfriend who encouraged me to grow all year. That's what I did. It's what I continue to do.
Last spring, I decided to pursue foster care and in the next couple of days I will be certified as a therapeutic foster home. That's really what has led to this year's word. Courage. Courage to open my home to children in need. Courage to use my privilege to help others be heard. Courage to challenge others' growth and courage to challenge my own. Courage to step out of my comfort zone. Courage to listen without judgment and love without boundaries. Courage to allow myself to be loved completely and to love completely in return. Courage to step out into the unknown, knowing that I am prepared for whatever it brings.
